No Stress: Preparing For Your First Date without Feeling Overwhelmed

March 8, 2023

I was terrified about my first date. I was going to meet someone I'd never met before. Reaching out to a compatible person and developing connections is also very overwhelming. Even if you are familiar with the person, many questions start popping into your head: What will you talk about? Will you have another date with the same person? What if that person didn't like you?

I didn't possess the ability to predict how the date was going to be, although I went through plenty of first-date tips and advice. When everything went normal, I had an important realization. There was nothing to fear about it; however, it caused intense anxiety initially. All you need to do is strategize everything and stay confident. Here I have collected the best of my tips and advice from dating experts. Despite making it awkward, there are various things you could do to make it exciting.

Making Sure To Feel Comfortable

"First dates can be daunting experiences and can cause a lot of anxiety. You might have to make an impression or feel overwhelmed by the prospect of just being around someone new. However, with the right attitude and tips, first dates can be enjoyable experiences that help build connections." – writes Licensed Social Worker.

Going on a first date is exciting and daunting at the same time.

There is the excitement of meeting a new person and the possibility of romance, but what if things don't go as planned? One-cut solution for it is you have to be confident and comfortable, don't lose it. When a person is stressed, they could make more mistakes. Here I list ways to help you be satisfied, so you don't need to re-strategize things every time.

  1. You need to be fit first. If you're sick, don't go for a date and consider rescheduling.
  2. Never have high expectations. It's unnecessary; the person you're dating now would be your love of life.
  3. You can try low-key activities like walking around rivers, listening to live music, etc.
  4. Choose the daytime for the first date. Nighttime could worsen your anxiety levels.
  5. Only style yourself fashionably if you feel comfortable. Wear something light yet admirable that would be comfortable at the same time.
  6. A little extension is acceptable if you're enjoying time together. You must make some boundaries on how you want to spend time.
  7. After your date, you can choose to do something you love. Going home and relaxing on the couch might turn on your overthinking mode.

Tips for Self-Confidence and Stress Relief on Dates

"Expect the things that may be uncomfortable at times, so you are less anxious when they do. It's a bit weird going on a first date sometimes, so expect there to be some awkward silences and off questions." – recommends Donna Novak.

People often think of how another person will perceive them and could tickle them. Stress is something that is not easily controllable. However, keep yourself relaxed yet concentrated. Here are some ways in which you could remain self-confident and stress relieved throughout your date:

  1. Planning for a comforting destination- It should not be like you getting ready for a date and going to any fancy impressive places if you know things may go unmanageable. Always plan the destination where you've gone before. You should collect details prior.
  2. Be yourself and present yourself- Pretending yourself cannot be a cakewalk. Introduce the authentic self in the best way possible. The more you try to be manipulative, the more trouble you invite.
  3. Be honest- Arlene B. Englander, psychotherapist, LCSW, MBA, suggests that there is nothing wrong in admitting you are nervous. Too much gratification with words might make the other person feel vulnerable.
  4. Be focused- For a while, you should be focused on the person next to you. It's about showing interest or giving compliments. This practice would make you and the person next to you feel valued.
  5. Take long breaths and calm- Taking long, deep breaths could trick your brain into coming under control and feeling safe and calm.
  6. Take assistance if required- Well, everyone has a best friend with whom they share everything. Similarly, you can talk to them about your anxiety.

"I remember my first date like it was yesterday. I had been chit-chatting with this girl for a few weeks online. We finally decided to meet in person and planned a simple dinner at our local restaurant. When I arrived at the restaurant, my nerves ran high, and I was unsure what to do next. Thankfully, my friend had given me some advice on handling a first date that helped get things off to a great start." – Mark Joseph.

Planning Activities and Outfits That Will Help Ease Nerves

At first, it feels like taking out fancy outfits and getting ready for the date. It could be stressful for you. The costume is of particular importance for psychological attraction. The first factor should be choosing an outfit in which you feel breathable. Here are some tips that could help you to choose your outfits.

• If you are confused about what color to wear, go for red and black. These colors are the most romantic and desirable.

• Don't go for orange and brown. Dull colors should be avoided.

• Choosing the neck over the chest would be more attractive.

• Don't style yourself approachable. Being overly trendy should be avoided.

• Wear light and natural-appearing makeup with your outfit.

Fun activities could keep you more indulged with your date. It could be:

• Take a walk to scenic places.

• Take a tour of the local brewery or winery.

• Attend any comedy show.

• Consider activities that can thrill you, like bike riding, hiking, etc.

• Going to markets is the conversation starter.

• You can try board games.

Helpful Strategies For Reaching Out To Your Date

Whether you've gone through hundreds of first date tips or gone on a date several times, stress can still catch you. Try out these strategies that could bring you a second date.

1. "Show up and be authentic.

2. Don't drink too much.

3. Be curious and open. Ask interesting questions – don't just be interested, also be interesting." – recommends Candace Kotkin-De Carvalho.

4. Know your body language- People communicate a lot nonverbally. Negative body language can be easily caught.

5. Mirroring of behavior- You feel more affectionate if you mimic the person's behavior that is in front of you. Like when they smile, you smile.

6. Show interest and be interesting simultaneously- Every talk and activity should involve the interest of both. Curiosity is the most wanted thing; ask questions.

7. Know that a match doesn't bring compatibility- Searching for both is nearly impossible. You and the person you are dating may have the same destination in different routes.

8. Overanalyzing shouldn't be done- Don't create more stress for yourself.


Believe me, it's normal to feel stressed before you go on your first date. Most people have past trauma of grief or being cheated; they don't feel like it's worth it. But you should never go off the track; dating could bring you the most compatible partner. You have to transform your overly stressed mind to calm down; there are various ways. When it goes out of control, you should never be shy about taking support from other people.

Carlos Diaz
I believe in making the impossible possible because there’s no fun in giving up. Travel, design, fashion and current trends in the field of industrial construction are topics that I enjoy writing about.

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