The Valley Ep 2 Recap: Tit For Tat

March 31, 2024

The second episode, cheekily entitled Tit for Tat, opens with Jax bringing his vegetarian best friend Kristen to a steakhouse for lunch. She brings up the nipple twisting incident, with all the shock and awe that Jesse would twist her nipple in retaliation to her twisting his. Yes these people are in their forties. Talk quickly turns to the topic of Kristen and Luke’s relationship. Jax claims that he can “spot a Doute disaster a mile away,” and claims that Luke said he would never raise a child in Los Angeles. He also tells Kristen that he doesn’t think she and Luke are on the same page. Projecting much, Jax? Kristen however, states that Luke is her “forever person” and that their communication is “stupid impeccable.” She also wants her friends, mainly her guy friends, to start treating him like he is there for the long haul. 

Credit: Ken Lund

The next scene has Jesse and Michelle, with their toddler Isabella at the park. They are trying to teach her to ride a bike for the first time. Of course, this causes them to fight, and bicker about each others’ parenting styles. Jesse weirdly states in his confessional that whenever he angrily yells his daughter’s name, she listens. Weird flex, but ok dad.

Meanwhile, our forever couple Kristen and Luke are hiking. They/Kristen are discussing their pregnancy plans, and that they are ready. Kristen details that Jax is being negative about it, and that is bringing bad juju into the space. Luke essentially just says “uh huh” and “yeah” a bunch. I really wish that he would speak up more and detail his wants and wishes for this potential pregnancy. Otherwise it just makes Jax’s point seem valid, and I really hate that.

Kristen then brings up nipplegate. Again. Luke is really angry over this. He tells her that “my blood is boiling.” In response, she states “you’re so hot when you stick up for me.” Ding ding ding, we now get why Kristen keeps detailing this nipple twisting incident, while downplaying the fact that she touched him inappropriately first. 

Jax, Jason, and Jesse are off playing hockey. For someone who almost left his life in Los Angeles to move to Florida to work at a hockey social media marketing firm...Jax really sucks at hockey. After a grueling four minute game, the boys take a break to drink a beer and gossip like girls. Jax brings up nipplegate, to which Jesse claims he doesn’t even remember happening. Jax then tells the guys that he is planning a guys’ night, in which he is going to invite not only Luke, but also Kristen’s ex, Alex. Unsurprisingly, dreamboat and ideal husband Jason states this is a terrible idea. Surprisingly, Jesse agrees, and even calls Jax a child for suggesting it. Jesse goes even further and jokes that Jax should also invite Tom Sandoval, another one of Kristen’s disgusting exes. Please don't make me start to like Jesse. Side note: Brittany states in this episode that Jesse is from Boston. Being from Boston myself, this makes COMPLETE sense. 

Over at Danny and Nia’s house, they are being the opposite of Jesse and Michelle. Poor Michelle. Danny, being the sweet, understanding, and supportive husband and father, reassures Nia that she is doing a great job when she feels insecure about breastfeeding and overall motherhood. They then go over the pantsing incident the other day, and how Brittany defended it. Danny claims Jax is 44 and needs to grow up. This is the second guy in the group to call Jax a child this episode, and they’re not wrong. 

 

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A post shared by Nia Sanchez (@realniasanchez)

Later on at guys' night, Luke puts on his protective boyfriend pants and confronts Jesse about touching his girlfriend’s nipple. As if Jesse just ran over and grabbed her boob. Jesse apologizes, while also stating he doesn’t even remember. Luke then demands that he also apologize to Kristen. Jesse for his part seems to be humoring Luke and agrees it was wrong and he will apologize. 

Later, Jax tells Luke that he invited Alex, to which, understandably, Luke is angry. See Luke, these are things worth getting angry over. Luke states that he has heard a lot about Alex, and doesn’t think he’s a good guy and doesn’t want to be around someone like that. Jax then states that he doesn’t see the big deal, as he is friends with all of his exes. Umm, didn’t Stassi kick you to the curb a few years back? But I digress. Jax in his confessional basically calls Kristen a whore, stating that she has slept with every man in sight so that makes it hard for him to have any friends. I really don’t understand the appeal of a Jax friendship…other than getting to be on TV with him?

 

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A post shared by Jax (@mrjaxtaylor)

Over at girls’ + Zack night, Britt tells Kristen that Alex is going to be at guys’ night tonight. Kristen is livid at Jax for inviting him, to which Britt defends him. Because of course she does. She states that “Jax has good intentions.” Because of course he does. Zack is on Kristen’s side and states that Alex shouldn’t be there, which Brittany quickly comes back with “maybe Luke shouldn’t be there because they are all friends.” It’s times like these which just reinstates that I feel no sympathy for Brittany in the upcoming “separation”. 

Back at guys night, we get a blink and you miss it sighting of Max Boyens (is The Valley the show where fired VPR cast now goes to be back on TV?) Jax is talking to Alex, and calls Luke childish. He then tells Alex that he thinks Luke won’t last, and that he knows that Alex has done so much for Kristen, so it’s not fair that she paints him in his bad light. Honestly, why are any of these people friends with Jax? 

The episode ends with a classic 5 minutes later caption, back on girls’ night. We have Zack screaming at what appears to be Kristen “I never said that!” We then have a bunch of tears. So, stay tuned I guess. Ohh the suspense.

Whose side are you on?
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In addition to this post on The Valley Ep 2 recap, you can click here to catch recap Ep 1.

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Julie Bowes
Meet Julie, the creative Head of Content at Urban Splatter. Since her move from the East Coast to Los Angeles in 2017, she's been bringing the world of celebrity real estate to life through her engaging articles. Julie has honed her passion for storytelling into a thriving full-time career, producing innovative content ideas and contributing to multiple websites. With a self-published book and several novels to her name, she's continuously expanding her horizons in the freelance writing sphere.

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